Monday, Monday

Monday, Monday....
crazy day at work.
no internet at home.
I leave you with this....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h81Ojd3d2rY

I took this picture just a mile from my house, on a morning walk.
Peaceful, isnt it?

Sunday

Quiet day today, watching Forks over Knives. Trying to get myself back on the Vegan band wagon.

Picked 10.5 lbs of tomatoes today....

Today's Ponder.....

To Be Read List....

Just in case I ever run out of books on my tbr list......

The Most Addictive Books of the Last 25 Years

http://www.oprah.com/oprahsbookclub/The-Most-Addictive-Books-of-the-Last-25-Years

Friday Gratitude

Today is a better day. Not just because it is Friday, but because things are starting to fall in place for me.

Things are looking up, in several different areas of my life.

I think, after re-reading the Gratitude article I posted yesterday….

I see that it is important for me to not just use this blog to vent about the bad stuff. It’s been great to have this outlet.

But, I need to remember there are also, good things in every one of my days.

A bunch of little, good things do add up…..

And it’s important to mention those as well. It’s important for me to remind myself that life is good and not just focus on the bad stuff.

I’m hoping to balance out my venting and my gratitude.

I really think I need a strand of gratitude beads mentioned in the article yesterday.

Or maybe I need to take those worry beads I have (ok, only in my head) and turn it into gratitude beads.

Why do I play with all of those worry beads, over and over, when instead I could linger on gratitude beads?

We all have something to be grateful for.

My life isn’t perfect.

But it is good. It’s good enough.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’m in a fitbit challenge with 2 other people.

Simple. Just a 2 week challenge, the most steps.

I’m in last place.

It dawned on me today.

I’m taller than both of them, have a longer stride.

I think I should be able to double my numbers.

They don’t agree. not sure why...

Ok, I need to learn how to take smaller steps….

I’ve tried to put my fitbit steps on here, I figure it would embarrass me into walking more.

Still trying to figure out how to do that…..

https://www.facebook.com/sc.louriesbutterfliesandpebbles

Friday --- C & H time

©Universal Press Syndicate

 

Gratitude

This week has been up and down for me, as most of my life is :).
But when you lose someone, or think you have.
For me....it brings back memories.
Of good times, happy times.
Sometimes I think that there are none of those in my life, especially growing up.
But that would not be true.
I haven't had a perfect life but I understand and am grateful for what I did have.

I saw this article and wanted to share it here, I thought it was a perfect addition for today.

~ Susan

Attitude of Gratitude: 5 Tools for Appreciation

By Tina Su

 We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder

  When life gets hectic and you begin to feel overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on the people and things you are grateful for in life. When you are grateful, other things will fall by the wayside. For example, you probably won’t be able to feel jealous and grateful at the same time. You might even be thankful for someone else’s success or their contribution to you. Being thankful gives you perspective on you situation and brings you to the present moment.

One of the most impressive reasons for being grateful is the positive impact on the way you think and feel. Research shows that grateful people have, “higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy . . .”
You will find a positive emotional state by simply focusing on the parts of your life that you are most thankful for. Appreciate the abundance in your life. Being grateful is an energizing way to start your day and a relaxing way to end it.

Sometimes a quick visual reminder is all you need to bring you back to a place of thankfulness and abundance.

1. Gratitude Journal: Each evening you can list the things for which you are grateful. Start with just five things. You will soon see that your list is much longer than you expected. Personally, I have found that the best part of a Gratitude Journal is the record it creates; pages and pages of my personal history of abundance.

2. Gratitude Rock: Find a rock that feels good in your hand. Name it your ‘gratitude rock’, carry it with you along with your keys and wallet. The idea is to remember and say “Thank You” for something in your life, each time you touch or see the rock. For example, when you empty your pocket at night; when you pack up your things in the morning; when you reach for your keys. An actual rock is not necessary; you can use anything small as a figurative representation. My mother uses a cute little keychain as her gratitude rock.

3. Gratitude Beads: Collect a short string of unique beads, and give significance to each one. As you run your fingers through them, with each bead, think of one thing you are grateful for. If you use beads in this way, gratitude can be a bridge to meditation and peace. At bedtime, instead of thinking peaceful thoughts and resting, my mind may be overtaken with all the things I have left to do. Running my fingers over gratitude beads allow me to focus on my many wonders and blessings as I go to sleep.

4. Wheel of Gratitude: Use this tool to make a mental map of who and what you are grateful for in your life. Simon Perkins’ blog offers this technique as part of his mission to, “help everyday individuals cut through our self-imposed limitations and start enjoying life.” This is a compact display of all the richness in your life (and it fits neatly inside the cover of your Gratitude Journal.)

5. Gratitude Diet: My friend Dave developed a product called the gratitude diet with a daily 10 minute video for you to watch and relax into. The videos are designed to put you in a state of abundance and gratitude.

Gratitude can make a real difference in your ability to feel positive, both emotionally and physically. Try one or two of these tools for two weeks and feel the benefits yourself. You will be amazed at what you discover.

http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/attitude-of-gratitude-5-tools-for-appreciation 

Thursday

Long week, but only Thursday....
I went to a funeral this morning, now back at work.

You know, My Dad died 7 years ago and since then, when I see one of his sisters, my aunts....they look at me and cry. They tell me, you look just like your father....(did I mention how handsome he was?)

Last month, I went to my uncles funeral. My fathers, sisters husband.
Today, I attended hers.
So - she could not look at me and cry.

So - I cried instead.

We, as always happens, lost touch. They lived in PA to be closer to one of her sons.
Her children were my age and we lived right next door to each other growing up.

At times like this, I get nostalgic.
I want to be in that back yard again.

Life goes on.
I miss my Dad.

Wednesday.....

Monday

I finished a book over the weekend - The Rosie Project.

It was really quite good. funny.
I won't go into too much detail, but -
About a guy, Don Tillman who couldn't show emotion.
Well, maybe he had no ability to feel emotions?
By the end of the book, he at least knew that and worked on it and found happiness.
I can't wait for the next in the series.
That probably did not make any sense, but it's the best I can do right now.

Speaking of emotions, it's been a very emotional day.
Another death in the family.
Another wake and funeral this week.

Too frequent the last few months.

I was thinking maybe Don Tillman has it right.
the inability to feel.

Right.
Don't wish your life away.

Trees....

So....we have new neighbors....our backyards meet.
And it seems our new neighbors don't like trees.
All weekend, they have had a crew here.
Cutting down every tree in their back yard.
About 20 so far have been cut down.
Huge, tall, old, trees.
Trees reaching for the sky.
It's sad and depressing.
Their choice, their perogative, I know.
But still, sad and depressing.

The view has changed in our backyard.
And they aren't done.
The lush green, the shade...
Sunlight is now streaming in.

I'm hiding in the den.
Door closed.
Music playing.
(Ironically, you've got a friend right now)

But I'm hiding.
From the sound of the chainsaw.

The birds are confused.
Gonna need to buy some more birdseed.

Don't want to be a downer....
I'll focus on the sunlight streaming in.

Think Like a Tree
Soak up the sun
Affirm life's magic
Be graceful in the wind
Stand tall after a storm
Feel refreshed after it rains
Grow strong without notice
Be prepared for each season
Provide shelter to strangers
Hang tough through a cold spell
Emerge renewed at the first signs of spring
Stay deeply rooted while reaching for the sky
Be still long enough to
hear your own leaves rustling.
~Karen. L. Shagg

Today's Bounty

Just today's bounty. 
Might need to learn how to make fresh pasta sauce, and a pumpkin waiting to be picked....

Friday....

is the perfect day to share my favorite Calvin and Hobbes comic strips :)

      © Universal Press Syndicate

Life is hard.

I know.
such a profound realization.

I knew this. Life is hard.
I really did.
It did not just come to me yesterday.
But, to be honest.
I was reminded of this thought yesterday.

Why?
Why is life hard?
good question.

Why is this such a tough question to answer.

Why do I ask so many questions?

I've been told that my job as a Quality Assurance professional for 30 years....
makes me see everything in black or white.
Everything is clear cut.
Right or wrong.
Black or white.
There is no grey area.
And maybe this is a good quality to have at work, but not in life, not as a  friend or sister or daughter or partner.
This is what I believe now.

I ask a lot of questions.
I always want to know - why?
I want to understand.
Why is this bad? to want to understand? (I know, another question, 2 actually)

I struggle at work and in life. Daily I struggle with this. Because having a quality mindset like I have does not make you friends. even at work.

I have this quote at work, tacked up outside of my cubicle.

Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives.

is this only meant for work or in life do you think?

So, I ask questions, I drill down. I ask why, why, why until I get to the root cause of something.
Why? so we can prevent something bad from happening again. In work, in life...

That's what I do. Before my current job, I was specifically a complaint investigator for Big Pharma. that was my life, I investigated complaints.

I received a broken tablet.
This medication doesn't work.
Why are these tablets yellow?
I could go on.

But I investigated and asked questions and solved problems.

Because, what is the alternative?
Don't ask questions?
Just stay quiet?

Am I like the 3 year old who never stops asking questions?
Who is never satisfied with an answer.
That's how I feel.

I'm already a really quiet person.
Most of my why questions are in my head.
You know what happens when you tell an introvert to be quiet, you talk too much, why do you have to ask so many questions?
It  isn't a good feeling.

So, the questions, the why, why why.
I figure that's where I need to keep them.
In my head.
Or at least ask questions anonymously to the world here :)

In the real world....
Don't ask questions. You may not like the answer.

But.
My though is this....
We all see the same moon and stars at night.
Did you ever think about that?
No matter where we are.
We all see the same universe.
We are not all that different.....

the world is quiet here

~ lemony snicket

Thursday 8/20/15

Another semi-sleepless night again, not as bad as the other night.
Then, I didn't want to get up this morning.
Feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck. I'm not sure why.
My mind racing instead of sleeping is not a physical thing.

Maybe it's a mental, hit by a truck, feeling.
Who knows.

Such is life.
I know I have no control over it.

As soon as I really accept that.
Maybe that's when I'll sleep well again.
Accept the way things are.

Get busy living or get busy dying.
Stop wishing your life away.....

I know how to say all of the right things.

I just need to start living those truths, huh?

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and it's great.
And sometimes life throws you another curve ball that you wish you could throw back.

But, I forced myself out of bed this morning.
Made my coffee (bright spot) and then my normal routine.
Looked for emails, checked out the news and sports.
Skipped a morning walk, I'm not awake yet and it is already gross out.

Sat down to write here.
Then wondered if I should do so?, in my less than "up" mood that I've been in for the last week.

Screw it.
This is me.

Get busy living or get busy dying.....

I had another sleepless night Monday night. Lately, really for months now, I've been getting a decent amount of sleep for me. 6 or 7 hours.

But there was a period of time in the recent past when I was getting pretty much no sleep. And somehow, I still made it through each day.

now, when I have a sleepless night it is just too much. I can't handle it anymore.

I worked from home yesterday. After a sleepless night. You know the drill, wake up, the mind races, the stress, the questions come. Why, why, why?! But that is a topic for another day. Why.

When I say I stayed home yesterday and worked, mostly I mean I lay on the couch and vegged.

Watched a favorite movie.

The Shawshank Redemption.


Which brings me to that great scene in the movie...

Get busy living, or get busy dying.

I can watch this movie, over and over. I never get tired of it. It's one of those movies that I can't stop thinking about. The kind you want to share with others. So many element of life.
Hope. Hope keeps us alive.

Just like the quote......

"people who love the same books have the roadmap to your soul"  (Cassandra Clare)

I feel that way about certain movies and love when someone says....I love that movie, too!

If any of you have not seen this movie?
Total Gibbs slap.
Rent it, or buy it.
Please watch it.
You won't be sorry.
And if I could find someone who wants to talk about the movie with me, I would be so happy.

Some of my favorite quotes from the movie -

RED: I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

ANDY: Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. 

ANDY: I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.

I will repeat this to myself today. Off to work now :)

Always looking for courage, to keep moving forward

Rambling Thoughts.....

You know....
When I first thought to start this blog, it was for several reasons.

I wanted to talk about the books I've been reading, and birds, and life and sports, and anything that popped into my always jumbled mind. I guess once I started talking, it was like a dam had burst and now I don't want to stop and I need somewhere to channel all that is inside of me. and even if no one reads what I write? I feel better, going through the motions of getting some thoughts out of my....already-jumbled-mind...

I promised myself as a New Year's Resolution that I would read more this year.
And for once, I have followed though.

I love to read, I always have. It was one of the main ways I escaped a not great childhood, how I spent my time, being the quiet, shy one.
I flew through books in my elementary school library. I remember the SRA reading program there and I was always way ahead. I wasn't very good in most other subjects. I loved to read, I enjoyed history, English? as in grammar? not so much, so please forgive me here.

And I've read all of my life, certainly going though phases of lots of reading to a little reading. books for the beach and more serious books.

So, this year, I've gotten back into reading.
A lot.
And it's been good for me and has occupied my time and my mind through a very turbulent year in an already stressful life (I know, who doesn't?). Don't get me wrong, Amy's surgery went well, she is on the road to recovery and we are in a really good place right now. I don't know what I would do without her. I know, believe me, how very lucky I am to have her by my side. Always.

But I found out something else about myself. I need an outlet, I like to write. I like to be creative. I love finding the "perfect quote" Who knew? Who knew a shy, quiet introvert had so much to say? So many thoughts....

Of course, my having something to say and being a good friend, a good conversationalist, are two different things.

I started following an Amazon book forum several years ago. I followed it as a "lurker" for a long, long time before I even found the courage to post a little bit. But I did. and I found that I was completely welcomed there. In so many ways, such a wonderful group of non-judgmental, caring folks.

Those tentative steps of posting led me to helping out with the forum more, and I started to "open" a day there, once a week.

And I enjoyed it. I loved it. and even if I didn't have too much to say through-out the day (conversation...) and I wasn't (I'm not) the most sociable person (I need an Emily Post intervention). I loved coming up with "starts".

I loved interacting with people in what, for me...was the best possible way.....

For the most part, those starts were mostly cut and paste of special days or of topics I was interested in. It was an easy way to share my feelings...my thoughts and fears....where my mind was.
Several times, I wrote my own thoughts and it gave me confidence to continue to do so. I realized I loved writing, and loved sharing my thoughts. I'm just not very good at the give and take, the ebb and flow of normal conversation. I accept that.

And life goes on, circumstances change and people come and go out of our lives.

Still, I feel the need to write.
I have found that reading and writing are both outlets for me.
Reading - it keeps me busy and my mind off the stress of everyday life.
Writing? - I don't know - I love to write, to ramble.  I realize that I have a much easier time "talking" when it is in an email or a text or just on paper.
When the phone rings? I ask myself. Can't they just send me an email or text? I would be so much happier if I could always communicate like this.

This used to be me -

Now? now I can't hold it in. As long as it is the written word :)
I don't have anything important to say. It's not that.
I just want to talk about the latest book I read or what a crappy day I'm having :)


And bear with me. I'm new at this blog thing and just trying to find my way. Find what works for me. I don't know where it will go, what direction it will take.

"I don't think you get to good writing unless you expose yourself and your feelings. Deep songs don't come from the surface; they come from the deep down. The poetry and the songs that you are suppose to write, I believe are in your heart."  Judy Collins

Fire and Rain

One of my favorites.....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C3uaXCJcRrE

Sunday....

...was a quiet day, went for a 2 mile walk at the beach, early morning, 8am and still, so hot and humid.

I find Sundays are always a little depressing for me. That fine line of trying to enjoy what is left of the weekend and thinking about Monday and work.

So, first (and I've changed my routine lately....) coffee and some vegging on the deck. Then that beach walk.

Then the chores started. grocery shopping, washing, ironing clothes. cleaning the house. We all know the drill...

We did sneak in lunch at Indian buffet

and then spent some more time out on the deck (when the shade returned...), thinking. Admiring the home garden. get back into the swing of things in her garden.
it's doing really well this year. Not sure how, since I had to help out :) because of the surgery.
Maybe I have a green thumb?

Fitbit for Sunday - 11,014.

  

Ice cream....

Ahh.....

That ice cream cone I was thinking about the other night.

What better way to end the day than with a simple ice cream cone?

Delicious, too. It's funny, but there is a small ice cream shop in town.
We pass by it a lot....never been in there.

2 Friday nights ago, we were driving back from our walk at the beach and we were stopped at a red light, right there. In front of the shop.
We went in....everything looked good.
Then we scrambled for cash when we saw the sign...cash only...
I got a small ice cream cone, toasted coconut. Amy got a small cup of black raspberry.
We were quiet as we ate, until I said.
This is the best ice cream I've ever had, seriously.
I looked at Amy.
She nodded in agreement.
Uh-oh :)

I did get my 10k steps in first today...
My just reward :)

Toasted coconut.....

Special days...

Are really just another day...but nice it was a Saturday....

So....
I had a nice day yesterday.
First thing, we went to the community garden to see what was ready to be picked.
Wow...it's been a great year so far.
The company I work for decided to turn a big chunk of their front lawn into a community garden for employees who wanted to plant.
There are about 35 plots, each about 5ft/23ft.
We also have several plots dedicated just for the local food bank.

This is just what we picked in the morning from our plot...and really when I say"our", I was volunteered to share this plot with a co-worker. Who has since backed off. That's ok :) it's been fun,
so Amy and I have taken care of it. Work purchased a bunch of starter plants for us and then we went out and got more. I definitely planted too much. Next year, I'm going to keep it simple.

Before and after pictures......

Then we spent the day doing my favorite things.
What are my favorite things?
Sitting on the deck, with my kindle and my ipad and a cool drink.
Reading, Vegging, Birding,
not many birds around in the middle of the summer (especially if you stay on your deck...)
I did get a short walk in.
But, I am failing at my latest fitbit challenge.
It's been hot and going to get hotter....
I'll try to keep moving though.

A quiet day, but my favorite kind.....

Later, pictures of our home garden.....

Just another day, but.....

...Truth be told, today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you will ever be again.

It’s kind of scary, but it’s true. If there was ever a perfect day to start letting go of the needless drama and stress that’s been holding you back, that day is today.
Start by letting go of the idea that you have too much to lose.
In the end, you won’t regret the things you’ve done nearly as much as the things you didn’t do when you had the chance.
I’d rather have a life of “OH WELLS” than a life of “WHAT IFS.”


50 Things to Let Go of Before Your Next Birthday

Great article from Marc and Angel...

http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/01/26/50-things-to-let-go-of-before-your-next-birthday/

Friday. Finally.....

Who doesn't look forward to Fridays? To the weekend?

I'm reminded of a co-worker, Ellen. 20 years ago now. Wow.
I would guess that she was the age I am now.
All of us 20 and 30 year olds would whine all week long.
For Friday. For the weekend.

Stop, she would tell us.
Stop wishing your lives away.
Time already goes by so quickly.

Before you know it, she said....
You will be my age....
And you will want to slow time down.

You will long for the days when you were young.
And had your whole life in front of you.
So stop, stop wishing for time to fly, for the weekend to get here.

Those days, the years...they have flown by.
They have.
And I remind myself to not wish the week away.

To enjoy life.
I force myself to slow down.
And enjoy the little things.

Birds chirping in the early morning.
The sound of the ocean.
An ice cream cone.
Watching fireflies at night with my better half.
An ice cream cone.......

Rain and Sunshine....

Rain and Sunshine....
A beautiful rainbow last night. It started to pour as we were getting ready to head to the beach for a walk.
I tried to talk us out of the walk, it's raining, I said. The sun is also out..she said.
Ok....
It was actually a beautiful night (ok, a little buggy), as we headed down, it poured and the sun was shining.
People scrambling from the beach, as we drove to our walking spot.
We started looking.
then we saw it.......

What is it about rainbows that makes everyone stop and look? Natural beauty...it feels like there is hope when you see a rainbow. The combination of a summer night, rain and sun and color.....
We drove into the parking lot. Usually pretty empty, but so many people were pulled over, just staring or trying to get that perfect picture. Somewhat surreal.....we got out of our car. My sister was already there and she was smiling, ok laughing. Someone was blasting Over the Rainbow.

We started our walk, away from the rainbow....and though we spent that walk talking and venting over work....we all were in a little better mood.....At the turnaround, we headed back, still watching the rainbow, changing color....slowly drifting away.

And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.Gilbert K. Chesterton

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”

Books Read for 2015

Books Read - 2015 newest listed first.

1.     A Million Steps - Koontz, Kurt / 3 Stars                                                             
2.     Memory Man - Baldacci, David / 4 Stars                                                            
3.     All the Light We Cannot See - Doerr, Anthony / 4 Stars                                      
4.     The Ascent - Malfi, Ronald / 2 Stars                                                                  
5.     The Long Way Home (CI Gamache, #10) - Penny, Louise  / 3 Stars                     
6.     How the Light Gets In (CI Gamache, #9) - Penny, Louise  / 5 Stars                      
7.     The Beautiful Mystery (CI Gamache, #8)  - Penny, Louise  / 4 Stars                     
8.     A Trick of the Light (CI Gamache, #7) - Penny, Louise  / 5 Stars                          
9.     Bury Your Dead (CI Gamache,#6) - Penny, Louise  / 4 Stars                               
10.  The Nightingale - Hannah, Kristin / 5 Stars                                                         
11.  Zero Day (John Puller, #1) - Baldacci, David / 3 Stars                                        
12.  The Brutal Telling (CI Gamache, #5) - Penny, Louise / 5 Stars                              
13.  All Who Go Do Not Return - Deen, Shulem / 4 Stars                                          
14.  A Rule Against Murder (CI Gamache, #4) - Penny, Louise / 4 Stars                      
15.  The Cruelest Month (CI Gamache, #3) - Penny, Louise / 3 Stars                          
16.  The Bookseller - Swanson, Cynthia / 2 Stars                                                      
17.  Thankless in Death (In Death, #37)  - Robb, J.D. / 3 Stars
18.  Maude -  Mabry, Donna / 3 Stars
19.  The Hit (Will Robie, #2) - Baldacci, David / 3 Stars
20.  The Innocent (Will Robie,#1) - Baldacci, David / 3 Stars
21.  Every Last One  - Quindlen, Anna / 3 Stars
22.  Mr. Mercedes (Bill Hodges Trilogy, #1) -  King, Stephen / 3 Stars
23.  Wish You Well - Baldacci, David / 4 Stars
24.  Still Life with Bread Crumbs  - Quindlen, Anna / 4 Stars
25.  The Martian  - Weir, Andy / 4 Stars
26.  The Silkworm (Cormoran Strike, #2)  - Galbraith, Robert / 4 Stars
27.  Benediction (Plainsong, #3)  - Haruf, Kent / 3 Stars
28.  Eventide (Plainsong, #2)  - Haruf, Kent / 4 Stars
29.  The Cuckoo's Calling (Cormoran Strike, #1)  - Galbraith, Robert / 4 Stars
30.  Personal (Jack Reacher, #19) -  Child, Lee / 3 Stars
31.  The Stand  - King, Stephen / 3 Stars
32.  Grandma Gatewood's Walk: The Inspiring Story of the Woman Who Saved the Appalachian Trail  - Montgomery, Ben / 3 Stars
33.  New Life, No Instructions  - Caldwell, Gail / 3 Stars
34.  The Book Thief  - Zusak, Markus / 5 Stars
35.  Nightwoods  - Frazier, Charles / 3 Stars
36.  The Painter  - Heller, Peter / 4 Stars
37.  Let’s Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship  - Caldwell, Gail / 5 Stars
38.  Sand Omnibus (Sand, #1-5)  - Howey, Hugh  / 3 Stars
39.  Station Eleven  - Mandel, Emily St. John / 4 Stars
40.  Night Film -  Pessl, Marisha / 3 Stars
41.  Plainsong (Plainsong, #1) -  Haruf, Kent / 4 Stars
42.  A Widow's Walk Off-Grid to Self-Reliance: An Inspiring, True Story of Courage and Determination  - Dodds, Annie / 3 Stars

The beach.....my favorite spot
especially early morning. Quiet and Sleepy.
I park my car and walk down the hill towards the water, stand and watch for a little bit.

The water is calm, like glass  but it's quiet and peaceful,
the water slowly lapping, towards me.
It's sunny and just a little cool. Sweatshirt and shorts work just fine.
Gulls flying lazily above my head, squawking a little bit.

I gaze out over the water.
I want to stay and lose myself, lose myself in the sounds, the smell of the ocean.
But I remember I'm here to get in a little much needed exercise, so I head down the sidewalk, with the water on my left and the beach houses across the street.

I wonder what it would be like to live down here, seems so quiet and peaceful.
To enjoy a cup of coffee and have this view every day.
I bet those that live here are less than thrilled with those of us coming here seeking the quiet, seeking the stress relief...

I turn up a side street away from the beach and walk a little faster now.
Just want to get back to the water. I pass a jogger or 2, a woman walking a greyhound, so timid they seem....
5 or 6 houses down, I take a left and see the beach again. Keep walking, slower now.

I see 2 kids out on the rocks, fishing.
My thoughts stray to wishing I were young again and could do some things differently.
I shake my head though and chase away those unhappy thoughts.

I focus on the water, the waves, the birds.

I stop thinking and just walk, to the turnaround point and then follow the same route -
back to where I started.

I check the time, and decide I have a few minutes to spare before work.
I head down the stairs towards the water and my feet hit the sand and it gets just a little harder to walk, I head closer to the water.
Just stand and watch, not really thinking, but feeling...

I feel at peace this morning, for the first time in a long time......it's a nice feeling.
hmm...maybe I should do this more often...

Finally - I head back to the car, to a shower and work.

But I keep that good feeling within me, knowing it will always be there.
The ocean, the sights, the sounds, the peaceful feeling, it will always be there......